Friday, May 9, 4:44am!!! Getting off Subway/Sunway (St 5am to 10:45/John Cage Mushrooms/rainy day bus to JALC)
He sees himself as the homeless guy!
Thanks the cops
Bc the smelly guys scare him
When they speak
So insistently
And then he showers
2x a week
Tries to cover up at first
Gives up
You can only smell him up lose
And nobody comes close to him
Subway workers keep their flashlights on
Too hard to turn them off!
Parallel to their legs
Hanging off a loop
Maybe it's self hatred that brings him to a job at 4am
He's a martyr
And good enough not to tell anyone
Or expect them to give him pity
Or allow him to complain
Gives him plenty of reasons to hate the world
All caps!
Carolyn
His rich sister/ GF
Expecting to be entertained
In any conversations he showsup to
He knows he can get in
By joking about cute furry animals
She went to MIT
And the only change has been from
Teddy bears to polar bears
She is using her consulting fees
"Consulting has been very very kind to me"
"Most people our age haven't paid off their mortgage, or saved for retirement"
And I'm just like, Really???
She may be book smart, but she never learned sensitivity.
The Most Glorious Thing in his life
Was sitting on the train at 125th st
Watching it emerge from the underground
The steel arches of the West Side Highway
A parking lot of traffic at all hours
(until he realized there was parking there)
Reminders of going grocery shopping there
Abundance of fresh fruit
And love
And now, the blue sparks from the train at night
Off the new construction
A skeleton of steel
Would it last as long as that bridge
Or the palisades?
Or the sunlight?
(which didn't last long enough for him
After college, after being told how smart he was
And not being able to find a job
Cursed?
Stupid?
Everyone told him to get work
"even if it's just in a coffee shop"
As if money prevents you from going insane
Or the American idea
Of noble work
He had never felt more suicidal
He had tasted life of the mind
Parties where he was witty
And jobs where he led meetings
Now he was being yelled at for not moving
For not frenetically cleaning in every spare moment
Or at least trying o look busy
The spring without lilacs
Walking to work in the freezing rain
Sent from my iPhone
He sees himself as the homeless guy!
Thanks the cops
Bc the smelly guys scare him
When they speak
So insistently
And then he showers
2x a week
Tries to cover up at first
Gives up
You can only smell him up lose
And nobody comes close to him
Subway workers keep their flashlights on
Too hard to turn them off!
Parallel to their legs
Hanging off a loop
Maybe it's self hatred that brings him to a job at 4am
He's a martyr
And good enough not to tell anyone
Or expect them to give him pity
Or allow him to complain
Gives him plenty of reasons to hate the world
All caps!
Carolyn
His rich sister/ GF
Expecting to be entertained
In any conversations he showsup to
He knows he can get in
By joking about cute furry animals
She went to MIT
And the only change has been from
Teddy bears to polar bears
She is using her consulting fees
"Consulting has been very very kind to me"
"Most people our age haven't paid off their mortgage, or saved for retirement"
And I'm just like, Really???
She may be book smart, but she never learned sensitivity.
The Most Glorious Thing in his life
Was sitting on the train at 125th st
Watching it emerge from the underground
The steel arches of the West Side Highway
A parking lot of traffic at all hours
(until he realized there was parking there)
Reminders of going grocery shopping there
Abundance of fresh fruit
And love
And now, the blue sparks from the train at night
Off the new construction
A skeleton of steel
Would it last as long as that bridge
Or the palisades?
Or the sunlight?
(which didn't last long enough for him
After college, after being told how smart he was
And not being able to find a job
Cursed?
Stupid?
Everyone told him to get work
"even if it's just in a coffee shop"
As if money prevents you from going insane
Or the American idea
Of noble work
He had never felt more suicidal
He had tasted life of the mind
Parties where he was witty
And jobs where he led meetings
Now he was being yelled at for not moving
For not frenetically cleaning in every spare moment
Or at least trying o look busy
The spring without lilacs
Walking to work in the freezing rain
Sent from my iPhone
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