They Closed The Starbucks

The place I saw as the glaring spot reminding me of my past, is closed.

I just noticed a week or 2 ago.

I don't know if I should be happy or sad.

Makes me feel both things.

Gasoline Alley

Listening to Rod Stewart sing about Gasoline alley ("where I was born") suddenly brings to mind a VIVID image of growin up, not that I grew up in an alley, but it's what my town looked like in the 1970's.
My neighborhood was full of trees, flourishing in the spring rains, but there was a Hillbilly haunting of junk in the forest, beautiful and spooky, old car seats that had the jungle growing up through them.

And downtown there was a lot of gasoline smells, vivid concrete smells.  My neighbors (white trash?? or just the kind of people who dumped trash in the forest) the toothless grandpa who never bathed, and the broken cars in his driveway.  The trunk from the navy that was out on the sidewalk one day, recently.  And how he never liked other people going through his trash.  "Trash picker" as the worst thing they yelled at us....

Memorial Day Time

Funny to think that I am RICH when I am whirring with ideas and cannot type & paint fast enough for everything I want/need to do. I am rich because I have 3 days in a row to prepare for Open Studios.

Under The Bridge & other stories still NEEDS TO BE WRITTEN.

There was a pastor at church today, she was a pastor in Michigan & it didn't work out (Sad or Emersonian??)  She's working as an Admin Assistant for a Boys' School.  And had just returned from a trip with 36 6th Graders to Washington DC.

Wandering lost at lunch

I live on the other side of the river. 

Valley of 42nd st, from Tudor City.

Manhattan Stonehenge.

Conference Calling

Unhappy faces. Telepresence is not real Presence.

But it was still fun.

The Date on My Badge

I heard Friday afternoon that Tuesday would be my last day.  I'm not surprised.

Not surprised that my manager hung out with me in person for 2 days and didn't mention it.

Not surprised he's a chicken, that he would never answer a direct question.

That he was too stubborn to change his mind, or allow for the possibility.

That his focus would be on what his team can win, and NOT what will improve the project.

I'm glad to leave before I get more emotionally involved with the other employees (I love them all). Before I fall more in love with the habit.

I'm glad I can go back to NYC.  Everyone else has to look at those walls and my empty desk until it all gets washed of my existence.  And then I'll be completely gone.

How to Hang In

Vacations are underrated. 

It's much more amazing to realize that you are happier Not Working for a company than Working for it.

Some people (17 or 7 or 4 year veterans) are stuck with their life investments.  They are terrified to make a move or to have a move made upon them.

It's a huge deal to explore open positions, other companies, or even a new commute. Old habits die hard.

The more you move, the more efficient everyone can be. All the detritus falls away. So much surrounds us everyday that is distracting. Habits, rooms, hallways, desks, coworkers.  Everything is there until it isn't.

One bad earnings call, one rough afternoon for your boss, everything at your job can fall away until nothing is left, not even a paycheck.  It's a matter of dodging as many bullets as you can, and try not to be shocked when you get hit.